I know...I know...

I always say I am going to get better and I never do. Oh well! Our life is just busy and this is one of the last things on my mind. The boys (all 3 of them) have been sick and to the doctor last week which was not fun. Adrian was up one night, Aaron the next and boy that about kicked my rear! Spring quarter started last week too, so it is adjustment time once again. This quarter I was going to try and take 3 classes so that I could get into the program sooner, but that didn't work out so much. It proved to be a lot to handle and then the school wouldn't let me double schedule a class so I was out of luck. Trying to figure it all out, and trying to put it all in God's hands. In time, this will be over and be totally worth it-that much I know. Adrian is crawling-wow! He is so different than Aaron. Much busier and needier than Aaron ever was. He likes(LOVES) to be held all the time. Aaron is great! He finished pre-school-we pulled him out early. The driving was just not worth it as he wasn't learning all that much so we will work on stuff at home and he starts at GC Christian in the fall for his kindergarten prep year. Alex is busy working away at school. I have no idea how the man does it. He is far more disciplined that I ever will be./ I am trying to take care of the house stuff so he doesn't have to worry about it, but I have not been that successful. I pray that the 3 days helps out a lot and then going down to 2 next month will be even better. Starting in Summer quarter I plan to take my classes during the day so that will give us a better family life-not sure why I am just now thinking about that great idea! Gearing us for Aya on Wednesday and then the countdown begins for the rest of our family to arrive in June. then the boys birthday parties on 6/26 and church camp for Ash, VBS, youth group (?) and then vacation in the outer banks! AHHHH! I cannot wait! Also excited to have a BIG family photo shoot with Dana (www.dlivphoto.com) in the summer too!!!
Much love to you all!

P.S. If you view this please email me your email so that I can add you to teh viewing list. I am getting comments from people I don't know so I am making this private. If I don't add you,. you will not be able to view!

Holie crapolie!

Lord help me! I am so tired. Sometimes I feel like all I am running on is fumes. I try to just concentrate on the reward, the prize, the whole purpose of this crazy endeavor I have set out on. I am not sure what I would do without Alex. We are both sacrificing SO SO SO much right now. Little sleep, very few family dinners, extremely limited funds...well...interrupted...patient care calls!


much love to you all!

back to the grind...

we had a really great weekend and I do mean really great!!!
Friday we dropped Katie off at school and headed to the Ville. Me, Missy and Colleen went to Robinson for dinner and then to the outlets. Not much luck on clothes for Aaron, but scored a few deals and even a serving platter for Kelsey's birthday party! As we were leaving Bill picked up Alex and they headed to the pig roast preparation! After shopping we went to Lancelot's and then to 909-interesting! I laughed so ahrd that night and had such an awesome time, ahhh...I just miss them. It is hard when your besties are so far away. It especially hurts when they are going through a hard time or you now youa re missing all of their kids activities-I hate it! But that is life and we deal quite well. Dad kept the boys so it was amazingly wonderful to go out with just me-no baby, no diaper bag, no sippy cup, no baby wrap-it felt rather weird!
Saturday we went to McDonalds, the Carnegie Science Center (NOT worth the money) and Chuck E Cheese. The boys had an absolute ball and were exhausted-as were we. I HATE that place. It is so nasty and full of people-ARGH!!! The things we do for our kids huh?
Today was the best treat of all-I got to sleep until 8. Dad got up with Adrian and then Aaron joined them-GOSH it was amazing!!!
It was awesome to spend time with Missy and Colleen and just laugh at old memories and make new ones. They will always be part of me and I am thankful for that.
Today we went to Tyler's birthday party adn I roller skated. It was so fun and then we had small group. It was an awesome awesome day!!! When we got home I laid down and slept for a bit before I came to work. Ready for the week to begin. Finals are next week-yikes!!!
Prayers for my friend Emily's mom and for her as well. Also pray for our dear Sam and Allison!

Much love to you all!

yea...yea...yea...

going home tomorrow!

catching up

i try and try to get better at updating but i just cannot do it. i try to get in a post a week adn for everything going on that is pretty good.

Aaron is fantastic. However, he has been using our tricks on us! The other day Mom was leaving and said "aaron give me a kiss" and he said "mamaw how do you ask". are you kidding me? i lover the kid but man oh man is he ever smart. today missy and bill stopped by for a quick visit (you know missy had to get to the hotel asap) and he was so funny telling billy that they had to clean up to the toys. if nothing else it makes me happy and thankful that he is so helpful and aware of the rules and one day his wife will thank me-right? we register him for pre-school on monday on grove city. the drive to bethel is just too much and the days that i don;t need to sleep alex still takes him to denise's so she can take him to rpe-school. this will make it easier and we can stay closer to home and he can make some friends that live around us. he is not excited about it as he is worried that he isn't going to haev any friends. that is what he was worried about when he started this year so this too shall pass. my wheels are spinning about his birthday and how we are going to celebrate. i enjoy so much making their birthdays special as i always end up bummed that my birthdays aren't made to be special. so i vowed that when he was born that i woudl always try to make the day special and to ensure that there was a celebration so he completely understand how special and important he is. it will obviously be a little more challenging now that adrian is here and his birthday is only 9 days away from aaron's...what were we thinking????

adrian is just a ball. he is an absolute daddy's boy. as soon as alex gets home and he either sees or hears alexs voice he goes insane until alex gets him. it is quite awesome to watch. i was truly blessed with a husband that is as much of a dad as i am a mom. adrian is sitting up and scooting everyhwere. he gets on his knees and rocks back and forth. i love to watch him grow. i love that he is beyond excited when he sees aaron. he is a great baby but then he is fussy from time to time. our friend dana is going to do a photo shoot for us in march and i am really excited.

not much else is new. school is school. work is work. i love it, but i am exhausted. somehow i am able to get through the days and some are much more difficult than others.

this week we will be making our annual trip to the ville for bill's pig roast. i will get together with missy and colleen and all the boys. we will shop and eat and take the boys to the science museum. it will be a great weekend and alex will be hanging out with the big boys out in the boonies-us girls are not allowed! boo!!!

until next time...much love to you all!

The Devil tried to dance with me

Yea...you read right...he tried to dance with me today. The day did not start off right, but it ended with my Faith planted once again!
This weekend Alex is at Chrisalysis (spelling) so he will not be home until Monday night. We had the weekend all planned...Aaron went to Dad's for the first time until Tuesday. We drove him to Zanesville (designated trade off point) on Friday. On the way home my Mom called-she was in extremem pain. She has been sick for over 2 weeks and she had been coughing and something cracked. She went to the doctor and he gave her prednizone and percocet becasue she was not getting any better and she freaking cracked a rib coughing. So guess what...my over night sitter for Adrian was out of the picture. I freaked of course and started crying but I rembered that Beth said she would come to the house and keep him. THen it set in the there was church in the morning and I need to be in Gahanna to be Alex's prayer partner and I cannot drive him and me there becasue I have been falling asleep on the way home and the worry took over. I got a call from Alex and just lost it. He quickly said "I will come home", but I knew that was the easy way out. In anger and frustration I just hung up after I said that I would figure it out. Then I got a call back from him saying that we had an offer on the table from Quin that Katie, Abby and Annie would stay at our house with Adrian and Quin would pick them all up in the morning and take them to Gahanna. I talked to Quin and she made sure to tell me that everythign would be fine, that I needed to accept the help because that is what family does for one another. SHe also pointed out that this wasn't a sign that Alex should come home, but it was the Devil trying to mess with everything we are trying to do. Man oh man was she right. She prayed with me on the phone and we said our good-byes. Shortly after, Katie came over and then Quin called again wanting to stop by with the girls. They brought me a chocolate milk shake and we laughed and prayed and made plans for the night. We were completely set and my worry was completely gone. Katie and I went to Kohl's and then we came home and I got Choochie bathed and in bed. The girls came at 8:30 and we chilled and I headed to work.

You know, life is so trying and it is so easy to just give up. I have never looked at obstacles as the devil trying to get in, but that is so true. We have to pray and be strong and have loyalty to our Faith. As in my prayers each night let me say this..."Dear Heavenly Father, I love you so much".

I am more than ready for Alex and Aaron to be home! Only a few more days...

A fantastically fabulous weekend

This was a great weekend for us! Friday I worked and got a 1.5 hours of sleep Saturday morning. Aaron came home from Mom's late morning and we had some family time. Krissy came over and kept the boys so Alex and I could go out for a while. We went to Applebee's (BARF-BARF-BARF), Lifeway and to get carpet. We laid away the carpet and will finish paying for it the the next month or so and got a daily devotional for married couples. We really need to work on strengthening our marriage and we both know that they only way to do it right is through God. Our life it so busy and hectic, but we still have to make time for us. I told Alex I want to be a nurse, but I don't want to be a fat single one, but a married pretty one. So...while we are working on making our marriage last our lifetime, I need to get off my rump and lose some weight. That sucks huh? Oh well. It is over due and I need to fit into my summer dresses. (Priorities I know) I know that marriage isn't paradise and it will never perfect, but I love Alex and want all of my days to be spent with him. I feel truly that we are suppose to be together so working on strengthening our marriage is a great thing. The next few years are going to be relentless so we have to do what it takes.

Last night Ben and Will spent the night and that is such a treat. Other than the fact that Aaron is totally type A and as bossy as can be (I have NO idea where he gets it) they get along so well. We had terribly bad for you, but delicious food so it was awesome!!!

Today we went to church and then had a smallg roup outing. We went to Salvi Bistro for lunch and then the girls headed to Sally's and Life Uniforms. We had such a GREAT time together and lots fo great laughs. As time goes one, the closer we get and the more we start to lean on one another. It is such a great feeling to have them in my life. Our kids get along swimmingly and anytime we are together sans kids, Katie and Sam keep them so we have No worries.

Now I am at work and need to get back to the grind! Have a fabulous night. Much love to you all!

Update

I guess technically that could be the title of evey post of mine since that is all I do. I am sure glad last week is over, but man oh man how I felt great after reading my letter to Zach. I felt so proud and that I siad things that Don's Dad wanted said and that I can move on and that I honored Don's friendship with Zach. His punishment is 5 years on both counts, minimum of 2 years on each count served consecutively and he lost his license for life. Too long, too short, less than what he deserved??? who cares at this point? It is over. The book is closed. His judgement will come from God and God only. The sight of Zach is wrenching, again...it is over.

Last week we also lost our friend and brother in Christ, Kenny Timmons. He lost his battle with ALS and man oh man did Kenny fight. His faith was such an inspiration to people from everywhere. He funeral was more of a worship service and it was amazing. Please keep his wife and children in your prayers.

This week I registered for Spring quarter...how fun-more Math. It will be ok....3 more years and I should be almost done!

Busy-A new meaning

I thought that we were busy before, but man oh man does that work have a new meaning in our life. If I weret o sit back and really think about everything that is going on I would be more overwhelmed I'm sure. However, we are getting through with lots of prayers. School is just that school. I am enjoying Math more than I thought I would , but we haven't started the hard stuff yet so I am sure it will become much less enjoyable in the weeks to come. I also got into a classroom setting Bio class that I start this week. I will be 4 weeks behind, but oh well. I don't have the discipline for online classes-lesson learned. Alex is taking one class this go round and until we get more adapted he will continue the one class thing. I am having no trouble staying up through the night but I struggle to rest when I need it. I am getting better though!

The boys are wonderful. They both stayed at Mom's last night and everyone survived. Funny I think Aaron was more than year before I let him stay. It is much easier for me to let them go to Mom's or to get Katie to babysit now that I am with them more. It is hard when you work 40 hours a week during the day to let them go places without you. They are awesome and funny!

This week 2 very difficult things are happening. First is Zac's sentencing on Wednesday. I need to write my letter tonight. How wonderful I get to write a letter to the person who killed one of my best friends-nice! Secondly, our friend Kenny who has been fighting ALS decided to be taken of his vent on Saturday. Most of you know that his kids Sam and Allison spend a lot of time at our house so this is a very difficult time. Please keep them all in your prayes as Kenny is still breathing on his own-true fighter!!!

pics

All over the place

That is the way that I feel right now. I feel as if I am going to lose it at any given point. I feel like I am destined to burst or something of the sort. Have I taken on too much? Gosh how I feel that right now. I don't want to feel this way but I cannot shake the feeling. I am behind at school and that has me terrified. I have to pass each of these classes so that I can move onto the next class and if I miss one grade then I will not be able to apply to the nursing program next January. I worry-too much-I know that. I am scared and I don't like to feel that way. I need to find a way to be able to ask for help with the boys, I need to be able to let the laundry go and the pile of crap on the island...but that is hard for me. I want to be great at home and that to me means more than just loving my husband and kids. I of course know that perfection is out of the question, but I want the house clean and stuff picked up. I want laundry done, folded and put away. I want to be able to cook dinner and get the dishes cleaned and put away. I want to organize things so that life if easier on all of us. I want to be able to spend 2 hours each day on school. I want to be able to live on less sleep. I want to be able to do it all and yes I know that statement alone is stupid. Surely this is the right path...this is my call-right? I think so and at times I know so, but I want to feel that all the time. I want to give into my Faith and let God take over my heart, soul and life. I want to just give it all so that deep inside I never doubt. How do I do that? Lord help me to get where you want me to be, to be who you want me to be...

Late nights

So this is when they day can start dragging-for me at least! This is the middle of the day when things take a lull right before they heat up again and I get to start my 5am rounds. I am LOVING my job! There was a moment when I opened my paycheck last week that my heart and gut twinged, but it will be OK-RIGHT??? I can't say that the people I work with are all that kind, nice or passionate about being here, but then I realized that I am NOT here for them. I am here for the patients and to fulfill my dream so I will do my best to withdraw from their depressing outlooks! (Cannot stand that WNCI is playing either) I miss working my with friend and confidant Katie. She truly made each work day better and I miss that. Thanksfully I still talk to her several times a week and I can still benefit from her wonderfulness!

Tomorrow...well later today are the Monster Trucks! I am STOKED!!! There are 12 of us going so it will be a ton of fun! It's hard to tell what Aaron will come home with this time-Mamaw is going after all!

I am enjoying this schedule-if only I could get things under control with school. I am behind and it is only week #1 so that is not a good sign! It was funny this week when Denise and I were trying to figure out the calendar of when they boys will be there, which one will be coming and how long they will be there! I am telling you it takes a village and we are BLESSED beyond words with her! Over the next 2 weeks she, Krissy, Mamaw & Papa, Pa and Katie will all be keeping the boys for us! Holy cow! I may even be asking Beth for a favor!!!!

Missing the kids. Wishing they were here. It would make things so much better for them and for us. We would be able to have hearts at peace all around. Until that day comes-if ever-we will keep praying!

Much love to you all!!