Busy-A new meaning

I thought that we were busy before, but man oh man does that work have a new meaning in our life. If I weret o sit back and really think about everything that is going on I would be more overwhelmed I'm sure. However, we are getting through with lots of prayers. School is just that school. I am enjoying Math more than I thought I would , but we haven't started the hard stuff yet so I am sure it will become much less enjoyable in the weeks to come. I also got into a classroom setting Bio class that I start this week. I will be 4 weeks behind, but oh well. I don't have the discipline for online classes-lesson learned. Alex is taking one class this go round and until we get more adapted he will continue the one class thing. I am having no trouble staying up through the night but I struggle to rest when I need it. I am getting better though!

The boys are wonderful. They both stayed at Mom's last night and everyone survived. Funny I think Aaron was more than year before I let him stay. It is much easier for me to let them go to Mom's or to get Katie to babysit now that I am with them more. It is hard when you work 40 hours a week during the day to let them go places without you. They are awesome and funny!

This week 2 very difficult things are happening. First is Zac's sentencing on Wednesday. I need to write my letter tonight. How wonderful I get to write a letter to the person who killed one of my best friends-nice! Secondly, our friend Kenny who has been fighting ALS decided to be taken of his vent on Saturday. Most of you know that his kids Sam and Allison spend a lot of time at our house so this is a very difficult time. Please keep them all in your prayes as Kenny is still breathing on his own-true fighter!!!

pics

All over the place

That is the way that I feel right now. I feel as if I am going to lose it at any given point. I feel like I am destined to burst or something of the sort. Have I taken on too much? Gosh how I feel that right now. I don't want to feel this way but I cannot shake the feeling. I am behind at school and that has me terrified. I have to pass each of these classes so that I can move onto the next class and if I miss one grade then I will not be able to apply to the nursing program next January. I worry-too much-I know that. I am scared and I don't like to feel that way. I need to find a way to be able to ask for help with the boys, I need to be able to let the laundry go and the pile of crap on the island...but that is hard for me. I want to be great at home and that to me means more than just loving my husband and kids. I of course know that perfection is out of the question, but I want the house clean and stuff picked up. I want laundry done, folded and put away. I want to be able to cook dinner and get the dishes cleaned and put away. I want to organize things so that life if easier on all of us. I want to be able to spend 2 hours each day on school. I want to be able to live on less sleep. I want to be able to do it all and yes I know that statement alone is stupid. Surely this is the right path...this is my call-right? I think so and at times I know so, but I want to feel that all the time. I want to give into my Faith and let God take over my heart, soul and life. I want to just give it all so that deep inside I never doubt. How do I do that? Lord help me to get where you want me to be, to be who you want me to be...

Late nights

So this is when they day can start dragging-for me at least! This is the middle of the day when things take a lull right before they heat up again and I get to start my 5am rounds. I am LOVING my job! There was a moment when I opened my paycheck last week that my heart and gut twinged, but it will be OK-RIGHT??? I can't say that the people I work with are all that kind, nice or passionate about being here, but then I realized that I am NOT here for them. I am here for the patients and to fulfill my dream so I will do my best to withdraw from their depressing outlooks! (Cannot stand that WNCI is playing either) I miss working my with friend and confidant Katie. She truly made each work day better and I miss that. Thanksfully I still talk to her several times a week and I can still benefit from her wonderfulness!

Tomorrow...well later today are the Monster Trucks! I am STOKED!!! There are 12 of us going so it will be a ton of fun! It's hard to tell what Aaron will come home with this time-Mamaw is going after all!

I am enjoying this schedule-if only I could get things under control with school. I am behind and it is only week #1 so that is not a good sign! It was funny this week when Denise and I were trying to figure out the calendar of when they boys will be there, which one will be coming and how long they will be there! I am telling you it takes a village and we are BLESSED beyond words with her! Over the next 2 weeks she, Krissy, Mamaw & Papa, Pa and Katie will all be keeping the boys for us! Holy cow! I may even be asking Beth for a favor!!!!

Missing the kids. Wishing they were here. It would make things so much better for them and for us. We would be able to have hearts at peace all around. Until that day comes-if ever-we will keep praying!

Much love to you all!!