My husband

My how lucky I am. Through this extremely difficult time of me losing Don, he has also lost Don. They were friends, lodge brothers and co-workers so he is sufferling along with me. My husband is a strong man, but he also not afraid to show emotion which is something about him I love. When I see his face pale white and tears streaming down his face it breaks my heart. I love him so much and this has forced us to be stronger for each other and everyone else we love. Alex is my rock and I am not sure how or if I could live without him. He is amazing to me and everyone else. He has reached out to Dan and Collin, he has been the strong one at work, he has held me together and inspired me to keep going-what would I do without him.

Alex I love you thank you so much for being who you are and sharing your life with me.

The dust settles

And reality is setting in. The past 6 days have been so raw that I just cannot find the words to describe them. Don's service was absolutely amazing. There was more love and honor in the room that anything I have ever been past of before. It was truly amazing and I know that I am better because of Don. He was able to touch the lives of more people in his life than anyone I will ever know. Those of you that didn't know him missed out on something incredible. I have accepted that these will be the hardest days. There is still one big thing to do and that is clean out his stuff and he guy had more stuff than you can even imagine. For example, he saved every tickets stub from everything he ever went to-when you look up sentimental sap/pack rat there is a BIG picture of Don. The mere thought that he is gone is disturbing.

We made it through

It is hard to believe that it over, I truly didn't want it to end. Today was the most beautiful and har day I have ever been through. Don is still here with all of us. I will write more about it in the coming days. At the moment, I have to start dealing with my loss and I am afraid as hell. Don is the best-always has been always will be to everyone that knew him. Until next time, stay classy!

The way I deal

I have always been a glutton for punishment so to speak. I find myself calling Don's cell phone and work voice mail just to listen to his voice. Today we went to church and had an amazing service. I truly felt Jesus in my heart today and I am so thankful for that. After church we went to Mom's and Aaron went on a Easter Egg Hunt and then we ate. I had a hard time eating becasue I just thought of how much Don loved to eat(especially at my Mom's) and how he wouldn't be able to eat again and it made me sick. We came home and I asked Alex if he cared if I went to Don's parents house and off I went.

I stopped at Don's house and sat in his car and wow it was so weird to smell him and see his car with everything in it. I knocked on the door hoping AJ would be there so I could go in, but no such luck. Then I proceeded to the crash site and just tried to understand everything. Things like this make me feel close to him and I so need that right now. I went to his Dad's and was there for almost 4 hours and it was amazing. I am really not sure who felt better at then end-me or them. He has an amazing family and that is something that we truly had in common. He was so close to his parents and brothers so now I have to make sure that they are all OK. We have assured each other that we will forever be part of each others lives and that I will take the role as the Big sister to Dan and Collin. This is what Don would have wanted of me that much I know for sure and he would have done the same to Krissy. He loved his brothers something fierce and I don't know if anyone other than me really understood that part of him. I have shared so much with them the last 3 days that I feel so good about Don. I am able to share stories and feelings with them that helps them to understand how truly amazing Don was to me and so many other people. I am hoping to go to his house this week to write what I am saying at the funeral. I am not sure how I will get through, but for my Don I have to. Please continue to pray for his family and for me and the rest of his friends. I am praying for now that I am able to get off work on Tuesday and Wednesday so that I can be there for his family through everything-he would do the same for me. This is all about Don and making him proud of us for the way we are choosing to honor him. I am actually looking forward to the service on Wednesday becasue it is truly our day to honor everything that he was to us-just what he would have wanted...minus the stuffing of his body. (Those of you that knew him know exactly what I mean)

Until next time...

I need for someone to tell me it is going to be OK

I cannot believe this. Today is so much harder than yesterday. I cannot stop thinking about Don and if I'm not seeing him I am hearing him-constantly. I am consumed with him, his voice, his bigness his laugh-all of it. I am tormented with the thoughts of his Mom and Dad and what they must be going through, what Dan and Collin must feel. Don was so much to them and such a good brother and son. This is the worst day of my life and I cannot imagine how they feel. This world will never be the same without him. His friend Kelly had her baby today and I think of how excited Don was about her being pregnant and how he was robbed of holding Lillian the way he held Aaron. Here is a picture of my friend Don, there wasn't anyone like him. I love you Don and I just pray that you knew how much you meant to me.

Still isn't real

I simply cannot believe that this has happened. I am not ready yet to sit down and write my post to Don-hell I am not sure if I will ever be ready. Last night we had a house full of people that truly loved him. I have never in my life met anyone that so many people loved and cared about. His funeral will be probably the most emotionally charged thing I have ever been part of. He is the first person that I have ever really lost.

I lost a piece of my heart today

I am not sure how to begin a post like this and I hope I never have to again. One of my 3 very best friends in the entire world died yesterday and I found out this morning. I cannot begin to describe the emotions that I feel or have felt since Alex told me. I have so many things that I want to say, but for now I just want you to all pray for Don's family-his Mom, Dad, Step parents and brothers. This is such a horrible situation and a terrible loss for every single person that Don knew. He was one of the most amazing, true, considerate and best friends that I have ever had. I will miss him more than words can say.

Emily's little one has arrived

His name is Austin Michael and weighed in at 6 pounds 15 ounces! I knew it was going to be a boy! Em just left me a message and sounded wonderful! Congrats Emily!

Still can't shake it!

So I have been sick for a week and I am rather tired of it. I am still coughing, not as bad, and there is stuff draining down my throat making me all kinds of queasy. Aaron was so funny tonight. Alex is working late so I pucked him up. When he saw me he just ran over to me, on the way home he took off his shoes and socks and started picking the "fuzzy" out of his toes-Gosh he is my baby! I haven't talk on the phone for days-just to Mom and Krissy. I just don't feel up to it at all. I am working for a few weeks a late schedule so it is going to change out routine for a while, but duty calls. I am not thrilled, but I am happy enough to have a job so I am going to be flexible. The economy is a very scary place right now and I pray that things change. This is definitely time to take stock and evaluate what you spend your money on-you know all that jazz. I cannot believe Easter is this weekend and I am sooooo excited to dress Aaron in his outfit. It is smashing-I swear! I try hard to not dress him in things that he will look back on and hate. This one I am really excited about. He is even going to be super cool and wear his white Adidas with his dress outift-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The girls will be trying to eat him at church!

A few prayer requests please:
1. Emily is being induced tomorrow at 10am-prayers for her, Adam, Hannah and Charlie
2. A co-worker's (Troy) Mother is very sick with cancer-prayers for his family
3. Prayers for me to get better and out family to adjust to the schedule change
4. Prayers for my Mom who travel for work tomorrow
5. Prayers for everyone to have their health

And Praise for every single belssing that we are given by God

A REALLY rough few days

Our week started off with Alex being sick and then I got it-but I got it bad and have bronchitis. It is the pits. I have been on medication for 4 days, but I really don't feel much better. I left work early on Wednesday, called off Thursday and left early on Friday-great employee huh? I am not sure when I left so bad in all my life.

We also lost 3 of our fish so Alex spent 4 hours yesterday on the fish tank-yikes!

Today was our Easter Egg Hunt at church and being that I am on teh Family Life Committee I thought it best if I attended. I somehow mustered up the energy to go pick up all my stuff and stay for the whole thing. Aaron was afraid of the Easter Bunny, but he sat with Krissy next to him. Thank God for her! Everyone went out to lunch and I came home to go lay down. So, I am off to bed.

New pictures!

On the motorcycle with Krissy at Quaker State
Lounging with Daddy

In his Elmo chair with Doggie

With Ben and Will at Chuck E Cheese

A year ago-WOW

Hanging out at Grandma's with Mommy and Krissy
Playing with Daddy

This is one of my favorite pictures!

Dude-in Daddy's beanie

Loving Mommy

Who will get my vote???

I'll tell ya-The idiot that can do something about the outrageuos price of gasoline in this country will be the one to get my vote. I don't care what Alex tries to tell me Bush could do something about it! The cost for a tank today-$51.71 and that was with $.50 off each gallon. I am so sick about it!

Missy...

Did you figure out how to comment yet?

My friend Missy who has come out of the dark ages with a computer and Internet just found my blog this weekend! Hoorah!

I clogged at church forthe first time yesterday-yippie! I am waiting for Alex to get home from the doctor-he is really sick and then I am off to clogging practice!

Prayers for my friend Emily and a girl from my Sunday School class(who I shall not name). Prayers for me, I need to lose about 25 more pounds-workout Amy, workout!

Can you top this?

Is he totally my son or what???

Didn't think you could!

What has been going on...

1. Today I participated in my first clogging performance. Weperformed at our church to BIg House. It is one of my favorite songs and I only messed up a few times. I love it!

2. We are having friends over to dinner tonight, Aaron is taking a nap.

3. Aaron has his first snow outing today. I will post pictures of that later. He loved it. He screamed getting the suit on adn screamed even worse when we came inside.

4. Our trip home was good. Alex had a great time with Bill and I got to visit primarily with Colleen. She did wreck into the van(hehe). I had to include that.

5. The snow is great! I just wish it happened tonight so I could miss work tomorrow!

6. Work is good.

7. Alex has been busy shoveling and blowing the snow-poor guy. He says he loves it, but he stinks something fierce when he is done-barf!

8. Krissy and Tish got their house and will be moving in April-woohoo! It isn't as close as I would like, but I guess Tish wanted to keep some distance between us. Darn her! If it was up to me Krissy would live next door.

9. Aaron stayed at Grandma's Friday night and it sucked! I swore for that to never happen again! The people that live for time away from their kids I don't get at all.